Google says my house isn’t there.
Which is something I disagree with them about, obviously. But if you search on Maps for my address, nothing comes up. No matter how many times you hit the enter key, nothing happens. My neighbor’s house shows up, and the one across the street. Yet if you go to streetview, and try to turn the camera around to look at my front door… it doesn’t work. Satellite view just has this extra blurry spot. The terrain map shows a sinkhole.
I’ve tried other computers; my friends were only too happy to demonstrate that I was just doing it wro— Oh, wait, no, I’m right. It doesn’t show up. Yes, it’s weird.
When I spoke to the people at Google HQ, they seemed perplexed. They said there must have been a bug, and that they would fix it. They even sent their van down my street again, got it to take extra pictures of my porch, my windows. There should even be a shot of me giving the thumbs-up sign. I was that excited to see my problem solved, right in front of my eyes.
But still, nothing. And when I called again, nobody I could talk to seemed to know anything about the entire series of events. They denied that they’d ever spoken to me, and said that my situation was certainly not something they would send out a dedicated vehicle for.
I get told, by everyone, not to let it get to me. It doesn’t really matter, after all. I can still navigate to where I’m going by entering an address close by, and when I’m directing people to where I live, I get to make a funny little joke about how you won’t find the place on the internet, but I’ve touched the walls, and it’s definitely there, ha ha ha.
I’ve touched the walls. It’s definitely there. Ha. Ha. Ha.
