Avery Edison's Internet Diary

One of those blogs you've heard about, run by Avery Edison, a twenty-five year-old comedian and writer who lives in London, England.
  • October 29, 2012 5:04 pm

    This candy is my body.

      Jesus:  I need your perspective on Halloween.
      Judas:  You don't have your *own* thoughts?
      Jesus:  Sure I do. I mean, *obviously* I do. But I just want to check that the tide of opinion hasn't changed since I last broadcasted how I feel about the holiday. So I'm asking you.
      Judas:  You think I represent public opinon?
      Jesus:  Actually, I think the exact *opposite*.
      Judas:  You're- You're going to listen to whatever I say, and then claim that the values you hold are inverse?
      Jesus:  I don't know what that word means, but... Yep! Sounds right!
      Judas:  And this is all based on the premise that I'm not in tune with the zeitgeist?
      Jesus:  I don't know what that word means either, but, uh- Yeah, I think you're kind of out-of-touch.
      Judas:  That doesn't make sense. I'm pretty aligned with what the public think-
      Jesus:  Who do you think is the worst person alive?
      Judas:  You.
      Jesus:  And who has *billions of followers* all over the world?
      Judas:  ...I see your point.
      Jesus:  So, Halloween. Into it?
      Judas:  Sure, go nuts, let people do what they want.
      Jesus:  Cool. So Halloween sucks.
      Judas:  I agree with you there, too.
      Jesus:  Wait- What? What are you doing?
      Judas:  On the other hand, it's pretty great for kids...
      Jesus:  This is a trick. You're tricking me.
      Judas:  'Tis the season, and all.
      Jesus:  Now I don't know *what* to do.
      Judas:  I'd avoid hiding your pumpkin candlelight under a bushel.
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