Avery Edison's Internet Diary

One of those blogs you've heard about, run by Avery Edison, a twenty-five year-old comedian and writer who lives in London, England.
  • July 20, 2014 12:55 pm

    For some reason, unknown even to me, I’ve been making .gifs out of pictures my friends have posted to social media.

  • July 17, 2014 10:52 am
    Finally got my hairs cut. Hairdresser and I had a great conversation about peak oil-turns out he’s spent some time in Dubai. All in all, I can give haircuts a solid two thumbs up. View high resolution

    Finally got my hairs cut. Hairdresser and I had a great conversation about peak oil-turns out he’s spent some time in Dubai. All in all, I can give haircuts a solid two thumbs up.

  • July 10, 2014 10:42 am
    Sturgeon’s law: ninety percent of everything is crap.

I have heard from multiple sources that the only way to beat Sturgeon, as a writer, is to keep making crap. Because somewhere, among all that crap, will be the ten percent that isn’t crap.

Since 2009, I have submitted to McSweeney’s Internet Tendency nine separate times. Eight pieces were rejected. One, the most recent, was accepted. That failure rate isn’t exactly ninety percent–it’s only 88.8.

Today is a huge day for me. Eight rejections, spread over five years, have made me want this more and more. You can read the published piece, A Notice Of Author Obviation, here. View high resolution

    Sturgeon’s law: ninety percent of everything is crap.

    I have heard from multiple sources that the only way to beat Sturgeon, as a writer, is to keep making crap. Because somewhere, among all that crap, will be the ten percent that isn’t crap.

    Since 2009, I have submitted to McSweeney’s Internet Tendency nine separate times. Eight pieces were rejected. One, the most recent, was accepted. That failure rate isn’t exactly ninety percent–it’s only 88.8.

    Today is a huge day for me. Eight rejections, spread over five years, have made me want this more and more. You can read the published piece, A Notice Of Author Obviation, here.

  • July 4, 2014 5:17 pm
    Even while filing my human rights complaints, I don’t forget the important issues. View high resolution

    Even while filing my human rights complaints, I don’t forget the important issues.

  • July 2, 2014 10:11 am

    Group updates for Take Facebook Back!

    Hey guys, we’re having a preliminary meeting this Wednesday to strategize and discuss a timeline for action. I’ll be bringing cookies, so use this post to let me know if you’re allergic to anything.
    Posted at 12:32 on Thursday 20th May, 2023. No comments.

    I guess we’re re-scheduling the meeting since nobody turned up the last one. More cookies for me, though! For real, folks, write in your suggestions for a better time for the meeting. We need to get to work on Taking Facebook Back from the corporate overlords!
    Posted at 20:45 on Wednesday 26th May, 2023. No comments.

    Everyone is being real quiet. You guys can see this, right?
    Posted at 01:14 on Thursday 27th May, 2023. No comments.

    Okay, can someone–anyone–please just comment to let me know if this post (or any of the others) are just invisible to everyone, or if you can see them but Facebook’s changing your mood so you’re too lazy to comment?
    Posted at 03:23 on Thursday 27th May, 2023. No comments.

    Okay, I’m shutting this group down. I’ll talk to you all individually about joining the new group, Eating Cookies And Not Discussing Anything Else.
    Posted at 12:32 on Tuesday 18th May, 2023. No comments.

  • July 1, 2014 4:17 pm

    khealywu:

    joestanton:

    khealywu:

    buzzfeedpolitics:

    Fox News host Jessie Waters’s insane “Beyoncé Voters” definition.

    Look at this smug little shit-face.

    WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN

    It’s barely coded racism. Beyoncé = black women here, which I guess he doesn’t realize is like the biggest compliment anyone could hope for. I mean, I would probably actually cry if someone were to earnestly compare me to BEYONCÉ.

    He knows that Beyoncé sang a song with the word “depend” in it, but he doesn’t know that the full sentiment was, of course, I Depend On Me.

  • June 27, 2014 4:54 pm

    I have fun making videos, despite what I tell myself while I’m making them.

  • June 25, 2014 1:55 am
    Highly technical camera setup required for the shooting of my stand-up-via-satellite video today. (My tripod and video camera are still in Toronto, so iPhone-rubber-banded-to-a-pole it is.) View high resolution

    Highly technical camera setup required for the shooting of my stand-up-via-satellite video today. (My tripod and video camera are still in Toronto, so iPhone-rubber-banded-to-a-pole it is.)

  • June 24, 2014 3:22 pm

    "Mom’s really stepped up her email game since she took that design course."

  • June 21, 2014 11:44 am

    Avery Edison’s Mansplainer Traps: Man Tested, Avery Approved (And The Man Also Approves Them, And He’ll Give You A Bunch Of Reasons Why)