I have heard from multiple sources that the only way to beat Sturgeon, as a writer, is to keep making crap. Because somewhere, among all that crap, will be the ten percent that isn’t crap.
Since 2009, I have submitted to McSweeney’s Internet Tendency nine separate times. Eight pieces were rejected. One, the most recent, was accepted. That failure rate isn’t exactly ninety percent–it’s only 88.8.
Today is a huge day for me. Eight rejections, spread over five years, have made me want this more and more. You can read the published piece, A Notice Of Author Obviation, here.
Hey guys, we’re having a preliminary meeting this Wednesday to strategize and discuss a timeline for action. I’ll be bringing cookies, so use this post to let me know if you’re allergic to anything. Posted at 12:32 on Thursday 20th May, 2023. No comments.
I guess we’re re-scheduling the meeting since nobody turned up the last one. More cookies for me, though! For real, folks, write in your suggestions for a better time for the meeting. We need to get to work on Taking Facebook Back from the corporate overlords! Posted at 20:45 on Wednesday 26th May, 2023. No comments.
Everyone is being real quiet. You guys can see this, right? Posted at 01:14 on Thursday 27th May, 2023. No comments.
Okay, can someone–anyone–please just comment to let me know if this post (or any of the others) are just invisible to everyone, or if you can see them but Facebook’s changing your mood so you’re too lazy to comment? Posted at 03:23 on Thursday 27th May, 2023. No comments.
Okay, I’m shutting this group down. I’ll talk to you all individually about joining the new group, Eating Cookies And Not Discussing Anything Else. Posted at 12:32 on Tuesday 18th May, 2023. No comments.
It’s barely coded racism. Beyoncé = black women here, which I guess he doesn’t realize is like the biggest compliment anyone could hope for. I mean, I would probably actually cry if someone were to earnestly compare me to BEYONCÉ.
He knows that Beyoncé sang a song with the word “depend” in it, but he doesn’t know that the full sentiment was, of course, I Depend On Me.